Sunday, February 10, 2013

Blog #4. "I Hate Handing Money To People For Doing What I Could Easily Do Myself." Bell Jar Through Chapter 5.

This year happens to mark the fiftieth anniversary of both the publication of The Bell Jar and Sylvia Plath's death. If you read the introduction, you would find out that the novel was originally published under a pseudonym Victoria Lucas and available only in the United Kingdom; it was not published in America until 1971. It's always been hard for many to read the novel and not think of Plath herself—Anna said on Friday that the book is depressing because she knows what happens at the end, that is Plath kills herself (though this may not be the fate of Esther, the very autobiographical protagonist of the novel).  Plath remains a provocative and important American writer, perhaps more for her poetry than this, her one novel; at the same time both her poems and The Bell Jar are concerned with a very personal questioning of where does a women fit into a 1950s America. Reviewed in today's New York Times are two new biographies of Plath. And Gwyneth Paltrow played her in a 2003 film. So this fifty year old book you're reading still has a lot of life left in it.

So now that we've been primed by Girl, Interrupted, we're ready to jump neck deep into this intensely personal narrative of Esther Greenwood, star student at an unnamed women's college (it's Smith College in  Northampton, Massachusetts), living a life of envy with her summer internship in NYC at Ladies Day magazine (really Mademoiselle magazine), and courted by a gorgeous Yale graduate in medical school. Esther has it all (much like Susanna Kaysen did)...or does she?

1. Your reaction to the book now that you are five chapters in? What moment or scene in either chapter 4 or 5 really stuck out to you? Why? Quote from that moment or scene.

2. Something is not right with Esther. Tellingly, no one around her seems to notice. Yet we do, because she's recounting what went wrong for her that year in her life. How do you know something is not right with her? Pick one detail that clues you in. And please, try not to repeat what others have said before you. If you see something similar, add to what was said before you.

3. And last: just as Girl, Interrupted gave us a view of being a young women in the last days of the 1960s, The Bell Jar drops us right into the midst of the 50s and what it means to a young woman—an aspiring, intelligent, educated woman—in this time. Looking at chapters 3 to 5, what one moment jumped out at you as being a telling detail of what a young women is supposed to be in this world and time? And what's your reaction to this detail?

See you all tomorrow.

25 comments:

  1. 1. The section of the reading that stuck out to me was the scene in which Esther and Buddy were conversing and Buddy claims that a poem is like a piece of dust. Esther responds, "So are the cadavers you cut up. So are the people you think you're curing. They're dust as dust as dust. I reckon a good poem lasts a whole lot longer than a hundred of those people put together." While what she says is easily verifiable by history and the existence of an enormous number of ancient and famous poems, it's the mindset that is behind her comment that is notable. The quote is not one you would expect from someone who is happy with their life. In fact it is clear that Esther has a very different mindset about the world than other people, and in this case Buddy Willard. Her exceedingly negative outlook on the world can be seen clearly through this quote and her apparent disregard of life as a whole.

    2. As I discussed above, her interaction with Buddy is one clear indicator that something isn't quite right, but there are plenty of other examples. In her interaction with Jay Cee in chapter three Esther claims, "'I'm very interested in everything,'" in response to Jay Cee's question regarding whether her work interests her. But the important part of this quote is the description that follows. "The words fell with a hollow flatness onto Jay Cee's desk, like so many wooden nickels." Esther's comment is clearly described as empty and fake. Esther finds no interest in her work and finds very little interest in anything else. This is not a normal mindset whatsoever, and is clearly an indicator that something has gone wrong with Esther at some point or another.

    3. The entirety of these three chapters, three to five, could be used as a definition for how a woman at this time should or shouldn't act. Over the course of chapter three we witness a group of women discuss their activities from a fancy dinner to a visit to a fur show in which the girls learned to make a mink tail necklace. But one of the core indicators is Esther's discussion of her experience with learning to eat according to the expectations of others. Esther clearly disregards these expectations and receives no love from the other women for it. It could be said that what Esther does at the restaurant is an example of how a woman shouldn't act in this time, and visiting a fur show is. There is some connection between how a woman should act in The Bell Jar, and the expectations of society that are discussed in Girl Interrupted. It seems that rather than succeed academically Esther is expected to find a nice man and settle down, despite the fact that she is attending college. We witness this when we hear that she has had a separate date set up for her every week for several months in the hopes she'll find someone she likes. Overall these three chapters are chock full of examples as to how a young woman should and shouldn't act in the 1950's.

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  2. 1. So far there haven't really been any points of major interest. Most of the scenes are told passively and distantly, and this is the same why that I read them. I can say that if I had to pick the most engaging scene, it would be the whole food poisoning incident. However, even that scene wasn't really all that "sticking".
    2. The one problem that seems most prevelant is Esther's lack of close friends. She doesn't seem to have anyone to talk to. I think that this is largely her fault. She doesn't try to connect to others, even though on some level she obviously really wants to.
    3. It seems like the main things are that you need to have a boyfriend, you need to be very social, and you need to be going to the Yale Junior Prom. On some level, I think that her studying habits are not excepted by her peers, and only when she gets into the prom and finds a handsome guy do her floor mates taked notice in her.

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  3. 1. Esther is opening up the doors to her mind more and more as I read the book further, and it is becoming increasingly alluring. One story that I found really interesting was the poison fiasco."It didn't seem to be summer anymore. I could feel the winter shaking my bones and banging my teeth together, and the big white hotel towel I had dragged down with me lay under my head numb as a snowdrift. Reading this gave me the chills. The intense descriptive language and theme of cold reminded me of having the flu or a stomach bug. Esther's story is peculiar, but she has an interesting familiarity in the way she thinks and acts, much like we all do.

    2. It is true however that Esther is falling out of reality. When she arrived to new york she already exhibited an awkward lack of social awareness, as seen in the vignette about tipping. She does not catch on well to people's emotions. When the bellhop became furious for his lack of tip, he stormed out, and she still did not know what went wrong until Doreen told her. Her bipolar emotions with Buddy leave him as well as me confused, when she treats him like a jerk until he invites her to the dance, and she is hugging and jumping up and down. She hates the kiss, but cannot wait to tell everyone when she gets back.

    3. To add to what Jake mentioned, the Invitation to the prom is literally a ticket of respect amongst the women in The Bell Jar. They treated Esther differently, simply because of a dance she goes to. Social events, such as the dance or the dinner, are a woman's battlefield and if they come out on top they have everything they could ever want. A respectful job in the 50's was hard for a women to achieve, so the little parties are where they get to show their stuff. Just like Gatsby's lavish parties in his mansion, Esther talks of the prom like a rite of passage she must follow.

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  4. 1. A moment that stood out to me was when she was talking about tipping people. She says that the whole idea of tipping “makes [her] nervous,” and this moment added to the strangeness of Esther. Tipping is a common, every day thing, but it is something that terrifies her and makes her anxious. She’s very affected by little things that most people just accept or don’t even notice. This adds to her fragility, but at the same time, she comes off as strong and independent, at least to me. I can’t put my finger on why she seems like a strong character, but I’m curious to read on and see if she continues to have these two conflicting auras.

    2. Her relationship with Buddy is one thing that indicates to me that there is definitely something off with the way she approaches situations in her life. The main reason she’s excited to be in a relationship with him is because she “wouldn’t have to worry about what [she] was doing on any more Saturday nights the rest of the year.” She doesn’t seem to be emotionally invested in anything, it is as if everything is for practical purposes. She enjoyed Buddy because he gave her something to be busy with on Saturday nights, and her friendship with Doreen seems to be simply out of convenience.

    3. The scene at the luncheon is one moment that struck me as what womanhood was supposed to be about in this time period. All these young, pretty girls all dressed up and contained in this one room being showed this spread of products and food that is all so very glamourous. Despite its glamour, it ends up making them all sick. And all these girls are here for seemingly academic pursuits like writing, yet they are usually being herded to a luncheon or a Technicolor film. No seems to really have a purpose, yet they are all there because they are some of the brightest women in the area. Everything has a facade with something very different and unpleasant underneath. Women are told to behave a certain way no matter what they feel like on the inside, and these women could loose themselves in this charade.

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  5. 1. This book to me is very… bland. I understand Esther’s point of view, but the way she portrays it really does not grip me at all. Overall, I can’t even describe the way this books feels to me other than very limp. I am not really enjoying this book as much as I have enjoyed the other books that we’ve read. However, what stood out to me was the scene with tipping the bellhop, because it really shows how almost socially inept Esther comes off: “After a while, I was aware of this bell-hop turning on the hot and cold taps in my washbowl and saying ‘This is the hot and this is the cold’ and switching on the radio and telling me the names of all the New York radio stations and I began to get uneasy, so I kept my back to him and said to him firmly, ‘Thank you for bringing up my suitcase.’ ‘Thank you thank you thank you. Ha!’ he said in a very nasty insinuating tone, and before I could wheel round to see what had come over him he was gone, shutting the door behind him with a rude slam. Later when I told Doreen about him curious behavior, she said ‘You ninny, he wanted his tip” (63). For me, this scene shows just how much Esther sticks out like a sore thumb in this New York trip extravaganza.
    2. I can’t really point out what I think is wrong with Esther or even if there is anything wrong for sure. She really just comes off to me as flaccid and listless and she even says so herself: “I felt dull and flat and full of shattered visions” (71). I can’t pinpoint for sure whatever it is about her that makes me go “bleh”, but there definitely is something there. Perhaps it is all of the reasons everyone has already listed, or maybe it is just that she isn’t interesting. She’s not crazy or wrong, she’s just boring. That’s how she comes off to me.
    3. The moment that stood out to me the most was on page 68 when Esther narrates: “I was surprised to hear this, because of all the blind dates I’d had that year not one had called me up again for a second date. I just didn’t have any luck….I didn’t think I deserved it. After all, I wasn’t crippled in anyway, I just studied too hard, I didn’t know when to stop.” This just points out to me how little education seems to matter to the girls at this college. They all ignore Esther until she gets the chance to go to the Yale junior prom, as everyone has already said. The fact that she seems not well liked because she studies so hard just sickens me.

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  6. 1. I agree with Jake that the book seems a bit passive so far, but I kind of like that. It seems like a more realistic style of writing. It also fits very well with the story and Esther’s character. She’s dealing with pretty mundane things and is a somewhat depressed by it. This life of free lunches, outings with friends, dates with successful men, and a little bit of work which Esther doesn’t seem interested in anymore really shouldn’t be portrayed as exciting. One of my favorite moments came right at the beginning of chapter 4. Esther is telling us about a lunch that her boss Jay Cee was going to attend with two writers. One of the writers is quite successful, the other isn’t. “The man had just sold six short stories to the New Yorker and six to Jay Cee… Jay Cee said she had to be very careful at this lunch, because the lady writer wrote short stories too, but she had never had any in the New Yorker and Jay Cee had only taken one from her in five years. Jay Cee had to flatter the more famous man at the same time as she was careful not to hurt the less famous lady.” I like the way that lunches and the nuances of flattery are clearly very important in the lives of these people. It really sounds excruciating. It’s a good representation of the way Esther lives her life or is at least preparing to live.
    2. I think Esther’s problem has to do with her lack if interest in…anything. It’s somewhat justified as the life she’s leading sounds really boring. However, she’s also not trying to make anything of it. The only person she’s ever interested in spending time with is Doreen, and it doesn’t seem like there’s much of a connection there. They’re not really even friends. Esther’s also lost interest in the work she’s doing. She also doesn’t seem comfortable confiding in anyone about anything. She does well in Physics, but it makes her sick. Disliking physics is understandable, but being completely terrified and sickened by it to the point of depression when she clearly has little problem learning or understanding it is a bit worrying. Rather than tell someone about this, she devises a plan and tricks her way out of taking Chemistry. “Of course, I never would have succeeded with this scheme if I hadn’t made that A in the first place. And if my Class Dean had known how scared and depressed I was, and how I seriously contemplated desperate remedies such as getting a doctor’s certificate that I was unfit to study chemistry…I’m sure he wouldn’t have listened to me for a minute, but would have made me take the course regardless.” She doesn’t seem to think that anyone will be interested in or believe her problems, which are quite serious.
    3. Esther is expected to be happy and engaged and interested in this mundane sort of lifestyle. She should go to fur shows and film premieres and luncheons with all of her friends. She should be satisfied with the work that she’s doing for Ladies Day. The fact that she’s not doesn’t sit well. Now, being interested in one’s work is a good thing, but the fact that her depression and lack of interest is almost unacceptable is not. Or at least, it seems that way. I’m not sure exactly why she’s feeling the way she’s feeling at this point, but she should be able to tell someone without being chewed out. Jay Cee get’s annoyed with Esther (or at least, Esther feels that way) when she loses interest in attending functions and doing whatever work it is they’re supposed to be doing. Esther is expected to be satisfied. I suppose I find that unfair.

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  7. 1. What's really stuck with me is the absurdity of upper-class customs. Esther has to learn the ropes of this bizzare world that many don't think twice about. Which silverware to use, what a random bowl of water is for, what to say when asked certain questions. It's all very petty and tiring. A great moment was when Esther ate the contents of a "fingerbowl." "I thought it much be some sort of clear Japanese after dinner soup, and ate every bit of it, including the crisp little blossoms."
    2. You can start to tell something's off with Esther when she keeps flashing back and forth with her thoughts. One thing will lead to another thought and another until you forget what she's actually talking about. This is exactly what would happen with Susanna. She would flash in and out of the present, coming off as spacey and mysterious.
    3. I completely agree with Jenny. These women are supposed to be in NYC to do their prestigous internship with the magazine, yet they're used more as a parade of beautiful available young women rather than journalists or fashion experts. It seems like the ultimate goal in this experience is not to become a successful writer, like Esther cleary thought she wanted, or to be able to put this on the list of things that would make them fabulously desirable wives to well-to-do men. The scenes that stuck with me were the dinners, lunches, and the movie.

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  8. 1) I think am enjoying the book so far. One scene that really stuck with me was when Esther was describing how her relationship with Buddy developed. As Esther gets to know Buddy more she grows to dislike him and I feel like this experience and possibly others like it may be why she keeps herself so detached from the people around her. Although she may not actively seek out the bad within other people, she may find “quite by accident”(52), as she did with Buddy, parts of others that she simply can’t stand.
    2) Although I do agree that people don’t notice just how badly she is doing, I am not sure if I agree that no one notices that she is off because Jay Cee does pat her on the shoulder and tell her: “don’t let the city get you down”(39). That being said, I think the biggest sign of her general wrongness is her level of detachment from everything. She makes very few attempts to reach out to others that are around her. A great example of this is her “secret hope of spending the afternoon alone in Central Park”(41). She also seems extremely emotionally detached from Buddy. It is extremely abnormal that she should be relieved that he be diagnosed with TB simply because she no longer has to see him so often and because no one in her dorm will bother her for staying in her room and studying all of the time. There is also something odd about how she seems to anthropomorphize so many inanimate objects such as the “chairs and the tables and the walls” that “were withholding their weight out of sympathy”(47) when she was sick. It seems to me like she sees the tables and chairs just the same as she may see the people that surround her. She just seems to care about so little and she seems so detached from everyone that surrounds her.
    3) I feel like most of her description of her college experience shows with role women should play in society. The fact that she studies so much is looked down upon because she should be out socializing. Buddy’s invitation to the Yale Junior Prom completely turns her life around, and simply because she has a man in her life, everyone in the dorm begins to respect her.

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  9. 1. So far, I really like the book. I think its really interesting and I really like the character of Esther Greenwood. She doesn’t seem like the typical character and she is very different from all of the other characters that we’ve read so far. So far, the moment that’s stuck out to me the most was when Esther was talking about how she “collected men with interesting names (51)” and how Constantin had called her to see the UN building. I just think it shows that there are really different sides to Esther, seeing as how she seems like an introvert at one point and then she seems pretty spontaneous with Doreen and then later on she says how she went on blind dates nearly every week. I also think that the word “collecting” is interesting because it makes it sound like meeting those men was just some sort of weird hobby she had.

    2. As most people have said, I think what’s a little off about her is her lack of emotional connection. She hang out with Doreen but when Doreen shows up outside of her door and vomiting, she just leaves her there and goes back to sleep. And when she’s at the luncheon and she was worried that Betsy would try to eat her caviar and that she didn’t want to share her bowl with anyone else. She just seems like she doesn’t have any regard for other people and she seems likes she’s only friends with herself and everyone around her doenst matter to her. This kind of reminds me of Lisa because Lisa was a sociopath and while Esther may not necessarily be a sociopath, she does seem to share some of the same traits as Lisa.

    3. I think what women should be like in this time is best exhibited in the movie that the girls went to see after the luncheon. They should swoop across ballrooms with their dates and go to the bathroom and gossip and be super girly and fall in love with an ultra masculine man. I think that its really limiting and its sad to know that girls in this era only ever amounted to being pretty in order to find a husband. However, from what I’ve learned about this era, it matches up with how women where expected to act and how their lives were supposed to play out.

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  10. 1.Above all, I found the book very confusing. However, this issue made me enjoyed the book a great deal. The way the book is written puts the reader, or at least it did to me, inside Esther’s mind. This makes me realize how Esther sees the world and see what nobody else sees. One moment that I found both funny and intriguing is when Esther opens her hotel door and finds Doreen and eventually leaves her outside of her rooms passed out. At first I found it funny but then I realized how disconnected from the world she is, “I decided I would watch her and listen to what she said, but deep down I would have nothing at all to do with her” (22). It is not obvious at first but Esther is losing it little by little.

    2.Like many said before, Esther is not connected. Yet, I think that more than emotional connection, she is not connected with reality. I mention already how she disconnects with people around her but she is also disconnecting herself from the present and going back to the past. He continues to think about past pains like her relationship with Buddy, the hard time seniors have her in college or her classes. She spends so much time in the past that her present is falling apart. One of the biggest problems is that she chooses to stay disconnected with her surroundings.

    3.It think that the books shows how beauty and looks a great part of the society at this time. Esther, like other girls here, are smart but are only wanted for their looks. Some went to college but that does not matter. Many do modeling jobs but even those who are writing write about beauty. A good example is Hilda who does not appear to be very smart yet she is beautiful and is good at making hats. Also the fact that the girls at the college Esther went value going out with a guy more important than studying shows what these girls’ priorities are.

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  11. So far I have been enjoying the book, but I get the sense that not much is happening, and by that I mean that the real problem and hence the real meaning of the book have yet to be addressed. The first few chapters seem to be there for the purpose of introducing the setting, the characters, the background, etc. And of course that's important and besides that there have been meaningful events and interactions that I think are leading up to what will be the real problem and conflict and that give glimpses of what is to come, but it is still the beginning of the book. One thing that really has stood out at me though throughout not just chapter 4 and 5 but the whole book thus far is how there are almost two Esthers. The book is told from Esther's point of view, so as the reader we see her reaction to everything that happens outside of herself, as well as inside herself. In this way she is very, very much her own person, an independent woman who has a very strong opinion on everything. It allows the reader to see her as a very rounded human being, to get a glimpse at her personality that others may not be able to see. But then besides this, throughout the book thus far her actions have not at all reflected this adamant, independent personality we have seen. She seems to go along with everything, to not at all say what she is feeling or share these opinions. In many ways, she just gives in to the outside world around her. A perfect example of this is in the second chapter, when her and Doreen are picked up by the men and she does not say a word, she just goes along with everything that happens. She appears naive, almost stupid, and even though she shares her opinions on the book she shares nothing to those around her. Another example is with Buddy. At first she obviously has strong feelings for him and she is very one sided about things and what she wants, but she doesn't make that clear. She appears to only be there, in many ways to just be there for Buddy as a body than anything else beyond that. ""Still, I think I could manage to see you every third weekend.' 'That's nice.' I was almost fainting and dying to get back to college and tell everybody." This is where I think the big conflict of the book will come in, the real problem of the book and what Plath says about where a woman fits in this world during the 50's. It seems almost as if she's trying to fit these roles for a woman at the time, even when she clearly does not agree with these roles.

    As I said before, this whole controversy between what she's feeling and how she, along with all of the other girls, is acting and going about these activities that have been set for her shows that there is something different about Esther. And yes, I say that there is something different, not that something is not right with her, because it seems to be a choice she has made rather than a negative thing. But as far as these activities, while she goes along with most of them she seems to have a different attitude towards them than the other girls. A perfect example is how they are all so eager to do everything that has been planned for them, with the exception of Doreen on account of Lenny, and yet Esther is not so keen to participate. She skips a majority of them, she distances herself from the other girls and almost expresses a rebellious attitude towards everything in New York and this life she entered a contest to live. So it is quite clear through this that there is something different between her and the other girls and the society here in New York.

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  12. The one moment that jumped out at me as telling of what a woman in this time period is supposed to be was the scene between Buddy and Esther, actually all of the scenes between the two, when he asks her to the Yale prom and then the scene when they kiss. It's telling in that, as I've said before, Esther is really simply there in those scenes; she adds nothing to their interactions besides an occasional word or two, and she just smiles and does her best to look pretty, really. Buddy makes up the relationship, the two of them together becomes simply whatever he makes it or he wants it to be. A perfect example of this is how she thinks their kiss is not very good, of course says nothing, and then he goes on to talk about how he thinks it was magnificent. By doing so, he makes up the relationship, and Esther seems to take it for granted that this is the way it;s supposed to be. These scenes signify that women of this time period are simply there for the men, to state it blatantly. They are there to be whatever the man wants them to be, whatever society wants them to be. I think there's a huge commentary on this throughout the book, as well as a commentary, through Esther, on how this is not how the world should be. It is a commentary on how it is all very wrong and almost a false accusation of women to only have them fit these roles and only think them capable of fitting these roles. My reaction to this, coming from the time period I do, is almost one of disgust, to see Esther almost trapped as a woman in this world. She's obviously brilliant, a very well-spoken young lady, and yet society is shooting this down with the roles they have put on women in this book, in the 1950's.

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  13. 1. As I read the book, I keep waiting for Esther to do something crazy, but so far it just seems like a look back on some summer in some girl’s life. While the book is still well written and I don’t get bored while reading through Esther’s everyday life and flashbacks, nothing shocking has happened. The little paragraph where Esther offhandedly mentions how her mother was stoned and her father died when she was a child stuck out to me. The way she is talking about wanting to learn German, then thinks of her parents like that, and then goes right back to talking about German again caught me off guard. It was strange to have her “want to learn German” (33) in one sentence, talk about how her mother “was stoned for it in the First World War” (33) and her father “came from some manic-depressive hamlet in the black heart of Prussia”, then go right back to commenting about how she wanted to learn German. Her train of thoughts goes astray very quickly and turns very sharply.

    2. The only minor problem that I see with Esther is that she spends too much time studying, and doesn’t really care about anything else. She’s living a life that only amounts to letters on a piece of paper. While I don’t think that this is necessarily a bad thing, it seems to be the only thing that she does, and she only does it because she doesn’t care about anything else. The only interest she seems to have is an obsession with food, but it isn’t a very beneficial one. But, her actions do not seem to shout “crazy” to me and I can’t understand, from our current reading, why she would have to go to a mental institution.

    3. Perhaps my favorite part of the reading is when she eats the flowers in the fingerbowl. I don’t use fingerbowls, so they seem useless to me, but the scene polarizes the rich, sophisticated woman and the country girl on a scholarship. Though Esther may be smart, hardworking, and educated, she isn’t cultured like the girls around her. While they prance around in New York on their shopping sprees and fashion shows, she is working and eating, somewhat of an outcast from the others. I think that Esther is more progressive and shows others what women can be and will be, but those around her (with the exception of Jay Cee) don’t take her seriously and expect her to act like all of the other pretty girls.

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  14. 1/2. I'm not really sure how I feel about this book right now. It's a little lackluster to me, especially after Girl, Interrupted was so in your face. As I learn more about her, especially about Buddy, I'm more interested, but I'm not yet compelled to read any further. The poison scene was the most interesting so far. I like when Esther and Betsy are riding in the cab and taking turns puking all over the backseat. I like when Esther says, "There's nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends." I think this kind of goes into #2, but this is something that I imagine most other girls wouldn't say. I think she's odd in that this is a bridge-builder for her. Perhaps she finds comfort in pain? At one point during her illness when she's laying on the floor she says, "It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no further." She's feeling something, although I'm not sure what it is, but it's definitely different than the other girls. Esther doesn't get the cheap thrill from going to a luncheon or spending a day with a random guy that the other girls seem to get.

    3. When she describes living on the same floor as a bunch of seniors and how they don't talk to her, but then she gets an invitation to the Yale Junior Prom and suddenly she's everyone's best friend. Clearly this shows the expectations of a woman being nothing more than a wife. She gains validity from her peers by going on a particular date. It doesn't matter that she's exceptionally smart. They only care if she looks good on the social ladder.

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  15. 1. I like the book, but at this point I'm not quite sure what the point of these anecdotes are. It seems a little scattered, but maybe that is intentional. So far the scene that has stood out to me the most when Doreen and Esther went to Lenny's house. Esther seems so unhappy during this scene, yet at the same time she is very passive and calm, "I felt myself shrinking to a small black dot against all those red and white rugs and that pine paneling"(16). Esther just quietly leaves and walks all the way back to her hotel at night. It started to become apparent in this scene that Esther has trouble relating to others.
    2. I would say that the most telling thing about Esther is how easily she lies. She lied about the chemistry class, and then she makes up excuses so that she doesn't have to socialize. This plays into the general lack of interest and emotion that Esther seems to feel. I think Esther is actually a very emotional person, but all her feeling seem to be veiled and muddled. Esther does not know how to act on her emotions like most people do.
    3. The initial description of Jay Cee seems very significant to the depiction of women at the time. All the girls make fun of Jay Cee because she is smart and successful instead of beautiful. Her wit in no way makes up for her lack of beauty. This makes it very clear that women are the most highly valued for their beauty instead of their knowledge. Another thing is the fact that the hotel Esther is staying in is strictly women only. Women are put in a separate sphere from men.

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  16. I like the humor that is slipped in sometimes, like, “The water had a few cherry blossoms floating in it, and I thought it must be some clear sort of Japanese after-dinner soup and ate every bit of it, including the crisp little blossoms” (41). I like this moment in which she talks about the fact that if one behaves with enough conviction, then no matter how odd it may be people are “ok” with it and don’t question it. It’s an interesting idea and view of society.
    “It was Betsey I resembled at heart” (22) this is one of the lines which to me shows that Esther is not ok. I think it’s clear that she doesn’t really click with Betsey and the other girls, and Doreen seems to be the only one who (in the beginning of the book) seems to have some sense of adventure like Esther, who is always restlessly looking for some kind of excitement which she experts to find in New York City and so far hasn’t. Esther is lost, looking for the meaning which will give purpose or direction to her bumpy life right now, but to her great disappointment she can’t even seem to find it in the most exciting city in the country.
    “I was college correspondent for the town Gazette and editor of the literary magazine and secretary of Honor Board…and I had a well-known woman poet and professor on the faculty championing me for graduate school at the biggest universities in the east…” (31). This seems to be the greatest thing a young woman at this time could be doing. The funny thing is, Esther does it, but doesn’t seem to want any of it. Just like the football movie she didn’t like, it might seem a little too picture perfect for her.

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  17. 1. The moment that really stuck out to me was when Esther met with Jay Cee in the end of chapter 3 and the beginning of chapter 4. This really stuck out to me because it reminded me so much of Susanna Kaysen's conversation with her principal in Girl Interrupted. Jay Cee asks, "What do you plan on doing after you graduate?" To which Esther replies, "I don't know." This is literally the same dialogue shown between Susanna and her principal. I found this moment very interesting because I feel like Esther should have some idea about what she wants to do if she's spending a summer in New York City working for a magazine. And it is also quite odd that she doesn't know what she's doing with her life when she is about to go into her senior year. This is what really prompted me to think that Esther has become depressed.

    2. There are many clues as to why Esther is not "all there." Before Esther was called into Jay Cee's office, she planned on laying in her bed and staring at the ceiling or going to lie in the grass by herself. She seems to always want to be alone and when she is with others, she is never actually involved in a conversation; she's thinking about caviar and crabmeat. The scene where Buddy kissed Esther also seemed really weird to me. Esther said, "While he kissed me I kept my eyes open and tried to memorize the spacing of the house lights so I would never forget them" (61). I don't understand why she would do this when she has finally gotten a chance with the man she's supposedly been in love with for years. It is almost as if she doesn't enjoy interacting with other people. Esther has also never described anything beautiful about the city or her life. Even when she read a story she liked she somehow found a way of describing it in a depressing way. "I felt sorry when I came to the last page. I wanted to crawl in between those black lines of print the way you crawl through a fence, and go to sleep under that beautiful big green fig tree" (55). Esther makes it very clear that she doesn't enjoy being part of the world.

    3. The scene where Buddy comes to visit Esther at college really stuck out to me because it showed that the women of the 1950's were only supposed to focus on superficial things. Esther seems so obsessed with the idea that all of her problems can be solved by a guy, Buddy. She, and the rest of the women that have appeared in the novel, all focus on beauty and male attention. I completely agree with what Sam said in that all these women are simply just "there" for the men to enjoy. They don't add anything, and its really sad because so many of them are interesting and smart. A line that really showed the gender dynamics of the 1950's was said by Esther when describing how her and Buddy's mothers knew each other. "They had gone to school together and then both married their professors..." (57). Just like in Girl Interrupted, women went to college to get married rather than get an education.

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  18. 1. I think the past few chapters have been really interesting. Esther seems normal on the outside, but is easy to see that she is hurting on the inside. I thought that the relationship between Ester and Buddy Willard gave us a bigger insight on Esther's past. The part that stuck out to me the most was when Buddy tries to be poetic, "'Do you know what a poem is, Esther?' 'No what?' I said. 'A piece of dust'" (56) Ester is unimpressed, but only says, "'I guess so,'" (56). Buddy is the ideal husband for Esther through the eyes of society. He is handsome, intelligent, and nice. Even Esther thinks she has feelings for him, but it is easy to tell here that Esther doesn't really like him. She wants to, he seems like the perfect match for any woman on paper, but she doesn't realize that she can't love someone looking through the eyes of society.

    2. The situation with her chemistry class that she was desperate to avoid shows her inner fear and depression. Esther says, "And if my Class Dean had known how scared and depressed I was, and how I seriously contemplated desperate remedies such as getting a doctor's certificate that I was unfit to study chemistry, the formulas made me dizzy and all that, I'm sure he wouldn't have listened to me for a minute, but would have made me take the class regardless," (36). She works herself to the bone and psychs herself out. She works too hard and she doesn't feel joy about her grades. She just knows that she will get an A. It doesn't matter to her that she gets A's, she is just supposed to do it. Esther goes through the motions and she doesn't care for anything If she got an A- or B+ the end of the world would fall on upon her. She doesn't know what she loves, so she acts like she has a love for everything. She takes her chemistry class without getting graded and her teacher thinks that she does it for her love of science. Esther doesn't know what she wants, so she just follows the mapped out path of life, not caring where it leads to.

    3. A lady is supposed to have table manners and not eat too much. Esther does what ever she wants and she eats the food of other girls. Food is the only thing that we now that Esther loves. She didn't grow up with a lot of money and when food is put in front of her she eats it. Most of the other girls came from wealthier backgrounds and understood these ideals more that Ester did. Like Susanna, Esther acts as if she understands the world and her place in it but she doesn't. She goes through the steps. She finds a guy that would look like a good snag on her arm and she studies herself into depression to make the grades that are ideal. She acts like she knows what she is doing with the fancy utensils and luxurious food, but on the inside she has no idea which fork to use with each dish.

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  19. 1. This was one of my favorite books I read last year, but for some reason as I read it again, I am a little bored of it. Maybe it's because I remember the book so well, but as I reread the chapters, the book doesn't intrigue me as much. But one quote that really stuck out to me was when Esther is talking about Buddy and says, "I felt dull and flat and full of shattered visions". Esther feels lifeless and hopeless. She doesn't know what she's doing with her life and she has no hope or expectations for herself.

    2. You can tell Esther feels very isolated and out of place in New York. She's supposed to be the young golden girl who is living the dream in New York, but she has this distance from everyone surrounding her. She's confused with what she wants to do with her life and her future. One person who sees this is Jay Cee, when she asks Esther if she's interested in her work. Then Esther admitted she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life. She's just lost in this huge world.

    3. These women are supposed to be young, beautiful, and sophisticated. They live in New York and work for this big fashion magazine. They're living the dream, because they're young and have a career, and they're able to go to these fancy parties and eat caviar and have small talk. But they're not like Jay Cee, who is unattractive, yet smart. She's an independent and strong career woman. These young women are supposed to be sophisticated and classy. They know what a finger bowl is when they see one. This moment kind of shows how naive and out of place Esther is in this upper class fashion New York world.

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  20. There hasn't been a great appeal to this book for me yet. I haven't been drawn in by Esther's narration, or by the action, although the food poisoning is the first moment of real intrigue. It made me smile when Ester talked about her first experience with a rinsing bowl. "I thought it must be some clear sort of Japanese after-dinner soup and ate every bit of it, including the crisp little blossoms.

    This chick seems to just be floating down a river of uncertainty in an intertube. She never appears to be sure of herself or have any firm grasp on reality. There is this feeling that she is just chilling behind a cloud of disturbance. Her social interactions are some of the most i've ever witnessed. Im also a little put off by the fact that she "collects" guys with odd names.

    Being a woman in this age is not a piece of cake. Esthers not-relationship with Buddy sticks out when she's talking about how he asked her to prom. The part when Esther thinks out loud about the person that is watching her walk out with Buddy shows her extreme low self esteem. The fact that women are judged by the kind of men that can attract is depressing.

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  21. As we read further, it seems as though we are moving deeper and darker into the thoughts of Esther. She displays her thoughts in such a chilling but calm way that we are almost intimidated by the voice telling us her story. We are forced to strap in as Esther takes us through her roller coaster of a mind and describes the events of her life. One moment that stuck out really exemplified Esther's obliviousness to her detachment. It happens when Esther gets a knock at her door and finds Doreen on the ground." I decided I would watch her and listen to what she said, but deep down I would have nothing at all to do with her” (22). Esther so easily separates herself from all connection and without hesitation leaves a friend in the cold.

    2) To add to what Cam said, Esther seems to be entirely oblivious of her social surroundings. She has sociopathic tendencies in her lack of empathy and seems to be entirely self absorbed. But I think that part of the reason that no one seems to notice is that this story is told through Esther's eyes and she doesn't notice. It wouldn't surprise me if the people around her are a bit cautious.

    3) The last three chapters have painted a perfectly clear image of the expectations of women in this time period. Esther does not fit in with the sophisticated atmosphere of the women around her. She doesn't catch on to the little things that make these women "classy". One detail that stuck out was the fact that Esther is in a way ostracized for her academic hard work. These women are paraded and valued to the magazine but they aren't supposed to be legitimate threats in terms of knowledge and academic skills.

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  22. 1. I suppose that I have a moment that most intrigued me, which would be the food poisoning scene in chapter 4. Plath's description of it was so real that I felt sick for a moment. "The room hovered around me with a great gentleness, as if the chairs and tables were withholding their weight out of sympathy for my sudden frailty. I found it surprising that Doreen was the one to bring her the broth- she really didn't seem like the type to want to nurse anybody.

    2. Esther seems to like saying how much other people think of her, yet she herself doesn't really have that much interest In all of the things that people throw at her. In fact, she is decidedly uninterested in most things throughout the book, whether it be the classes in college, working for Jay Cee, or going to all the functions that the magazine sets up for her. This is the most salient feature that details her... Irregularity of thought.

    3. I think that Jay Cee is the best example of how the book makes women out to be in this time. She is consistently described by Esther and the other girls as very ugly, but she is also the successful leader of a magazine, a position unlikely for a woman even at a female interest magazine. But hearing her through Esther, we realize that she is witty and suave, even likeable to some degree.

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  23. 1. I really don't like this book that much. I don't hate it, but it doesn't interest me that much. As we go deeper into the book and deeper and deeper in Esther's thoughts and see more of Esther’s unusualness, I keep losing interest. Maybe it will pick back up. But, one part that made me laugh was the scene when she explains about the time she first saw a fingerbowl, thought it was soup, and drank all fo the water and even ate the cherry blossoms.
    2. There are quite a few things that we can see is quite wrong with Esther. For one, there is much evidence of sociopathic behavior. Part of that is her indifference and disconnection from the rest of society. While part of that is just not living in high society, such as the use of finger bowls, other things are her lying and like Ben said, her lack of empathy. But another part is when she didn’t notice about Buddy, and how people always thought of her as a girl with her nose in the book.
    3. I feel like this book has painted a very good picture of what a woman is supposed to be: a high class sophisticated woman who knows her way around. The whole thing with the fingerbowls illustrates this very clearly is with the fingerbowls. Another thing that they are expected to do is to look for a man. Esther takes what she does very seriously, which is in contrast to many other people, such as when she was looked down upon for studying all the time. But when she was ecstatic about the dance, everyone treated her a little differently.

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  24. 1.
    The moment that really stuck with me was after Esther’s “clubbing” experience. She decides to walk back to her hotel, a distance over forty blocks, in high heels, when she could have simply called a cab, but instead, she simply, “set out in the right direction”. Then, later, when Doreen shows up, she simply drops her on the floor in front of her door. That is something that no friend would do to another.

    2.
    Her interest in food is telling, to me, as well as her period of purging in her bathtub. In addition, the appearance of Mr. Manzi behind Jay Cee’s head is an indicator. But I think the most telling detail of all is her interaction with others; she simply doesn’t interact. So far in the book, she really does act like our old friend Nick, observing the social interactions of others in a voyeuristic fashion, and only engaging in social activities when she has no other choice. Esther seems to look down on those around her, which is indicated when she says, “I have never known them and I am very pure.”

    3. The thing that jumped out to me in particular was Buddy’s treatment of her in general, and the expectations of her dorm mates. They say she is wasting her, “golden years” in college, where a girl is expected to go out and engage in social events, not study as Esther does. Billy calls her poems, condescendingly, “A piece of dust.”

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  25. 1) So far, five chapters into the book, and I love it. There is a weird sense of detachment somewhere, but Esther is very analytical and thoughtful. I like the language she uses and the metaphors and similes she uses to convey the liveliness of scenes. The scene that stuck out to me the most was when she got food poisoning and she threw up and fainted. The line that struck me the most was, “It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no farther” (p.46). This line just really gave me a sense of how low she was feeling. I think it implies how she needs rest so much. To me it seems almost as if she’s glad she fainted because it gives her an excuse to do nothing as opposed to always staying up and being strong for herself.
    2) I think the details I’ve seen in which I notice a problem is in the way that she does not have any one person to talk praise or anything at all. She doesn’t even appreciate her own mother. It seems that she has no real or deep connection with any of her relationships. Throughout the first chapters most of the time she is describing a place and people and a situation. It reminds me somewhat of Nick Carraway because he was always observing. But also she constantly speaks about not being content and feeling lonely and weak when she lays in the hotel bed. Most of the time she is reserved in the abyss of her critical mind. She is not pleased with her input and hard work at school. And she always pretended to enjoy her time with Buddy Willard. I think true satisfaction is missing.
    3)I specifically remember a moment in which Esther talks about the two writers that she met when she was with Jay Cee and Jay Cee was saying how she had to praise the man writer in a way that the woman writer didn’t know. Apparently, but not so surprising, the man poet was more famous than the woman poet. I just thought it was kinda dumb that Jay Cee felt a need to praise the man more than woman. I felt it should be the opposite so that the woman poet would get more recognition. And also the fact that Jay Cee had only taken one story from her in five years for a Ladies Day magazine just seemed ironic.

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